Hi there! Read up, dear friend. Read up.
When you can hear me on-air:
Sunday nights during Neighborhood Watch from 11p-Midnight! Also, Saturdays from 11a-3p. You can reach me via email at email@example.com. And send me your local musicness!
Songs I'm currently obsessed with:
Broken Bells - Holding On For Life
Jeremy Messersmith - Tourniquet
Lucius - Turn It Around
Albums I can't get enough of:
Little Comets- Life Is Elsewhere
Lorde - Pure Heroine
Daft Punk - Random Access Memories
What I do in my free time:
Tennis. All the time tennis.
Criticize other people's fashion choices, whilst wearing sweatpants and old grade school t-shirts
My current obsessions:
My niece and nephew!
My celebrity crushes:
Suzanne's AnecDON'TS and other random offerings
2.22.14 BYOBed because you're too tired to party that late
Have you noticed the difference between a college houseparty and a late twenties house party? In college, you spend your time playing beer pong, doing kegstands and puking outside so you can go inside and drink more. In your late twenties, you spend more time cleaning off the ping pong ball than playing with it, attempting a kegstand and realizing you're not that light and flexible anymore and the puking happens around 4pm the next day because you can't hang like you used to anymore. CANNOT WAIT TO PARTY TONIGHT.
2.15.14 Inglorious Valenterds
Happy post-valentines day Day! If you had a Valentine to celebrate with, I hope it was glorious. If you found a Valentine last night, I hope it was fruitful. If you remained Valentine-less, I hope you enjoyed that box of Franzia you purchased along with your nacho cheese Doritos and a viewing of Inglorious Basterds, now on sale at Target for $5!! Who needs a Valentine when you have Christoph Waltz?
1.19.13 Don't try to be healthy at Starbucks.
Just don't. It's not worth it. I purchased a skinny mocha this morning, and I will never be able to erase this taste from my memory. Ever. I hate my life choices.
10.12.09 How to be the best maid of honor EVER
My sister got married on 9/12/09! Congratulations to Emmy and Jake!! :)
So what was my wedding present to her? I left her reception early and missed out on the gift opening to go see U2 play Soldier Field in Chicago on 9/13/09. My 6a flight was so much more than worth it because I was FRONT AND CENTER on the outer catwalk rail.
LISTEN UP BONO: You better be coming back to the midwest next year. I'm not playing. I NEED MORE HORIZON!!!
6.4.09 Totally NOT an anecDONTI just wanted to come in here and make a quick note- I haven't forgotten about my blog!! Congratulations to Roger Federer for winning a career grand slam by winning the 2009 French Open!!! What a great way to do it!
...of course my update would revolve around tennis!
5.3.09 New anecDON'T
What say ye? Time for a new anecDON'T? Yes. It is. Today, I went to my 47th brewers game in the span of about a week. OK that's a small exaggeration, but oh well. Anyway, I was all decked out in my homemade Corey Hart shirt and I had a temporary tattoo in the shape of a baseball on my cheek...the cheek that happened to be facing the sun for the 6 hours I was sitting outside. I went home to wash off the grime of tailgating and miller park and was unpleasantly surprised by my lobster-red face. It looked like I had been assaulted by the sun. Moving on, I washed off the tattoo to find a fairly large pale white circle in the middle of my cheek where the tattoo was. Don't wear temporary tattoos in the sun...especially less than a week before your sister's wedding shower. FML.
3.8.09 Making Bad DecisionsWhenever I see people sitting alone at a bar, I kind of feel bad for them- A) who sits alone at a bar unless they're an alcoholic and B) who sits alone at a bar on a Saturday night unless they have no friends? So I decide to engage this young man in conversation. I was at Vox, drinking much hearty grog and general enjoying the douche baggery going on around me. I was feeling charitable. I struck up a conversation with the lonely young lad next to me, much to the chagrin of my gal pal. Turns out this kid is a self-proclaimed "depressed nerd". I ended up being stuck in a conversation about cocaine and heroin..two things I know absolutely nothing about (I'm sure my parents are proud). So I thought, "What would Bono do in this situation? Leave the kid to be depressed and go do a line in the bathroom off a hooker's a$$ or talk him down from the proverbial ledge?"
I left. Hope you're doing well- and go buy the new U2- it's fantastic...guyliner and all.
In other news, I hope my sister reads this- U2's first show in the US is on your wedding day. Can we take a raincheck?
1.1.09 New Year, New Blog Entry
It's shaping up to be a fine year already! I am going to England this summer (with hopes of finding a husband and just living there- sorry Mom and Pop), I'll be going to 3 weddings (including my sister's for which I'm the maid of honor) AND A NEW U2 ALBUM!!!! I can just tell it's going to be super fabuloso.
How was 2008, you might be asking? Terrifyingly lame minus some AWESOME concerts I went to. I had to watch my poor Roger Federer lose his number 1 ranking, I got in 3 car accidents and worst of all, got hooked on stupid TV shows. Does it get any worse than Rock of Love Charm School? I submit that it does not.
Anyway, I hope you have a fantastic remainder of the holiday, and remember- always wear clean underwear!
My sisters and I went to see Santa the other day in Minneapolis- so exciting, right?? Well, we could HEAR Santa before we could see him and he was all "ho ho ho merry christmas blah blah whatever else Santa says" and it was super awesome. Well, we walk in the picture room, he sees how old we are and he's like "Hey what's up?" Um WHAT???? SANTA? No. You are supposed to say "HO HO HO". Oh, also? Please don't be younger than me. And please don't make me sit on your lap. That's gross and weird.
Don't ever start your night off with a shot of Tequila Rose. Also, don't chase it with beer. Just another valuable lesson on my behalf.
9.13.08 Time for another anecdon't
You know how you always put your pants on with the same foot first? Well, don't ever try to switch that up because I tried putting them on with the opposite leg, and it was a debacle of epic proportions. Just a cautionary tale of sorts, I suppose.
8.3.08 An open letter to David Tennant
I would like to have your children, if at all possible.
Please and thank you,
7.24.08 Baking in an Oven
I recently took a trip to Arizona. The average temperature every day was 110. It was monsoon season, so it was really humid.
One piece of advice? Don't forget your shorts.
I'm such a moron.
5.25.08 Milwaukee Ink
I've been told to avoid pants. Seriously. I got a tattoo two weeks ago (in honor of Bono's birthday- OH YEAH!) and was told not to wear any pants. The man never specified how long I was to avoid the pant-wearing, so here I am, two weeks later, wondering if I can wear pants. Because I am. And if he wants me to not wear pants, I will, but I just want to know for how long. It itches, and it looks like I'm scratching my balls...well, if I had any, that is.
3.2.08 Playing with fire
I'm a self-proclaimed pyromaniac. Why people allow me to play with their match books and lighters is far beyond me. Apparently they don't know that I lit a fire on my sidewalk growing up and got the cops and fire department called on me. Sidenote: I don't think I ever told my parents this, so mom and dad, if you're reading this, just call me and we'll discuss this at a later date.
Anyway, last night, while enjoying some Screwdrivers at Vitucci's, I decided to eat fire. Why? I was sitting at a table with a bunch of smart people, I was feeling particularly stupid in that moment, and what better way to showcase my intelligence than by eating fire?? Am I right? I'm not wrong, that's for sure. Moving along- I started lighting matches and putting them out with my fingers, but that just wasn't good enough for me. So I moved on to a much more advanced form of extinguishing fire...putting a lit match in my mouth and putting out the fire that way.
Let's just say that I'm not doing too well right now.
2.3.08 How to look like a dumbass
Take a walk after a fresh snow on a steep hill that is clearly covered in ice. If you'd like to fall on your ass, this would be the best place to do so.
1.20.08 The REAL Worst decision of my life
Don't cheer for the Giants in Wisconsin if you don't want to be spit on.
Just sayin, yo.
9.16.07 Vicodin and Cold War Kids
Last weekend, after purchasing a new car because mine blew up, I went to see the cold war kids play the soco music festival in madison- now, keep in mind that this back pain has me on some major narcotics- vicodin being the prime suspect here. Well, I had VIP passes at this SoCo festival, and for those of you who are unfamiliar with what Soco means, it's southern comfort, aka really tasty alcohol. Well, I had already taken one vicodin thinking, they don't really work all that well anyway, why not drink my free soco that comes with the VIP pass...worst idea of my life. And I've had some bad ideas in the past- lighting a fire on my sidewalk in 7th grade and super-gluing my fingers together when I was 10...
So what did I learn from this experience? nothing really. I just felt like sharing.
8.4.07 Noel Gallagher
I ran into Noel Gallagher on the street in NYC (literally, I dropped something, stood up, and body checked the poor guy), and the only thing I could think of saying was "OH!" and then he walked away. So, the next time you plan on physically bumping into a genius singer/songwriter, make sure you have something intelligent to say. Better yet, apologize profusely.
7.29.07 Chris Cornell
I saw Chris Cornell sitting outside the Rave before his show this past Tuesday. I knew it was him because, well, I know what he looks like. What did I yell out my car window? "Grow your hair back!". Might I suggest you don't follow my lead?
Thanks for reading my page- I hope I gave you enough information to steal my identity. I hope you're not planning on getting any money anytime soon. My most expensive possession is my diploma.